Letter to the Minister of Injustice of Sri Lanka for 'Justice'!

July 8^th 2013

Mr Rauf Hakeem MP

Minister of Justice

Law Courts Complex

Aluth Kade, Colombo 11

Dear Sir,

Re: The accident caused by your MSD protection vehicle on 30^th January 2011

I believe it is still in order for me to remind you of the above incident, which no doubt you are perfectly aware of the circumstances, and the extent of the distress it has caused me. I am taking this opportunity to reiterate that I am still suffering the effects of the aforesaid accident, especially in as much as the injury to my body has not yet healed, and I am due to undergo further surgery at the National Hospital on my leg, today the 8^th of July, with the hope that it may improve the condition of that leg, which to date has kept me in pain and unable to perform most of the tasks I was engaged in prior to my accident.

I might remind you that at the moment of the accident I lost the business, I had been engaged in for the previous 8 years, namely a one stop farmer, who produced, delivered and marketed over 72 different food items to customers in Colombo, including many who you and your wife, personally know and also are acquainted with. I have not been able to resume the business, as I have not even been able to replace the vehicle that was completely written off as a result of the accident, to say nothing of the inability to gain full use of the right leg.

As you know there was nothing forthcoming from the party responsible for the accident, and I might also remind you that the driver of the vehicle was not even remanded at that point for the incident, and had the luxury of apologizing to me for his actions, at the Polonnaruwa base hospital that night, blaming it on faulty brakes that had not been repaired. Be that as it may, with Government vehicles not having any insurance, and a physically injured party having to go through the nightmare scenario of obtaining justice from the Ministry of Justice, I chose instead to concentrate on getting back my physical health, without further aggravating it by affecting my mental health also, in pursuing justice!

I still putting my physical health before any other, if I am to be able to live a fair life of comfort, and have to resort to using the services of the state health care system towards it as I am unable to pursue another course of recovery. I trust they will eventually be able to get me back to some semblance of normalcy.

Whilst the economic loss to my business, is I believe approximately Rs20M, I am in no way now able to recover from that devastation, but not being able to get the best of health care money can buy in Sri Lanka has been a source of irritation, especially as there has been no assistance forthcoming from either your department or the Ministry of Defence whose vehicle and driver were at fault. I recall when you visited the apartment I was living in at Gregory’s Road, you did say you will help me in some way, but how do I pursue such promises?

I have had to give up the Gregory’s Road apartment as I have not been able to get back to the level of health I hoped and am now living on the farm, at the address above.

Whilst you acknowledged that I was more a mercenary at giving something back to my country, over personal gain, having that intention so cruelly denied by the very state that I am supposed to help is ironic. There is much I can still offer Sri Lanka from a wealth of knowledge and experience gained from many years of education, and training overseas, it is a shame that those who sacrifice a life of plenty overseas, for the benefit of the motherland, are then treated in such a manner, when tragedy befall them. Is it any wonder, why others who may wish to emulate this gesture think otherwise, especially in light of the experience I have undergone? What recommendation can I give, when I am constantly asked for my personal experience on the fruitfulness of such a gesture?

I know you are an impossibly busy person with many roles and responsibilities, it is worth reminding that their importance in the scheme of things is only relative, denying others possibly of even more important service to one’s country, despite being devoid of title, power or position or any other craving for personal aggrandizement.

Is it incumbent on me to make an issue of this whole incident again? I rather think not, and appeal to your good senses to do what you believe is right in addressing some of my grievances, and making restitution where there is some reasonableness, as nothing will compensate for the loss of the business and time lost to ill health.

Is there a point in pursuing the legal processes? I am sure you know the answers to that without further burdening a process, that rarely meets justice to the aggrieved.

On a lighter note I was asked a while ago, to retain the learned Counsel, Mr Ikram Mohammed to represent me in a Civil case against the responsible authorities, and took the decision not to, which I believe in hindsight was fortunate, as he is I understand the father in law of your daughter. My logic is therefore clear, if I was to prevent myself from being further pauperized. Divine intervention perhaps!

I hold nothing against you personally in this regard, and wish to see some closure, as accidents do happen, and it is time that the state takes some responsibility for its haphazard treatment of its citizens, when there is abuse of power, and shirking of responsibility as in this case.

I look forward to a favorable response from you, as a human being, to do what you believe is just and equitable in this situation.

Thank you and best wishes

Yours faithfully

JAD Caralina Alwis – 27th January 1933 – 4th March 2013

She was at work till the day before yesterday! She was admitted yesterday, and died today 4^th March 2013. Funeral set for the day after tomorrow, 6^th March 2013.

It is important to me on my personal blog to recognize the significance of the above lady in the development of the farm I live in over a 40 year period.

She was a remarkable woman who had been widowed in her 30s prior to coming to work on the farm that my father had, in 1973. She was a single mother with three young sons, of 8, 10 and 12 to bring up, with little personal wherewithal.

As was mentioned at the funeral she was able to raise these three boys, to be pillars of the local business community of Godagama, where they live, in various trades as the owners of their own businesses. Further raising these boys with one going to Jayawardenapura University was a feat in itself, and the closely knit family who now live almost next door to each other, is a testament to a united family with wives and children, (also in University) something that is rarely found in Sri Lanka these days.

Though her family were now economically in good health, she still chose to go to work on the farm, to manage it and come every day of the week between 7.30am and 4.30pm is a testament to her dedication to her work, her love for the farm, and her interest till the last moment on arranging new plantings and recently even hosting a forum for Coconut Seedling cultivation group is an indication of a rare quality.

I was telling her sons at the funeral house how interested she was till the end about farming, and new types of plant and planting techniques. I have collected all the cuttings for the last few years from newspapers as it pertains to farming and gave the file to her to read. She had gone through the whole file and had picked out the relevant tidbits to implement.

We were talking about a new variety of Goraka, and she also told me that all this time she was planting the “kiri ala” a potato type legume, in the wrong manner, and that she has now learned of an easier method. I said to plant as many of these in the new system, as it is a very nutritious and if cooked well a delightful dish that one can use as a breakfast meal. She had also started a new coconut seedling nursery using good nuts for me to take to Polonnaruwa once they were of a size ready to be replanted, an indication of what one can learn from an 80yr old farmer.

She told her sons, that she would be bored at home, and enjoyed coming to the farm about half km from her home, only latterly by a three wheeler, earlier she used to walk to and from. She could boss the workers, sell the produce to those who come to the farm gate, chat with her friends who turn up to buy a coconut or a bunch of bananas. Her lunch was delivered to her from her home.

Up until last Saturday, Caroline, as I called her, came to the farm, sorted out the weekly food basket my father takes home with him, along with his laundry washed, and folded, and seemed perfectly well. The following day, Sunday, she was not feeling too well, and did not come, and her family had taken her to the local hospital, in Homagama (well equipped with modern facilities) and did not seem too serious. She had a heart attack the next day Monday at around 11am when she died, with less than 24 hours in hospital.

Since my return to Sri Lanka in November of 2004, I have used the farm as my principal abode, and had close contact dealing with her, as she was the person who ran the farm here, whilst I was travelling to and from Polonnaruwa on my farming work, and then once I was unable to work due to my accident, was able to take care of the daily routine on the farm till now.

In Sri Lanka, for whatever reason when the final speech of thanks is made before the casket is closed and taken for cremation, all those who assisted at the funeral are mentioned. What is uniquely Sri Lankan is that all the names of the politicians who paid their respects is also mentioned. IS that the reason they come to funerals so the crowd gathered at the final rites hear the names of the politicians?

Just for the record, lest we forget! I shall just repeat the list; Ravi Karunanayake MP, Senior Minister Fowzie MP, Leader of the Opposition of the Western Provincial Council – Manju Sri Arangala who gave the final address, Gamini Tilakasiri PC, Upali Kodikara PC, AD Kumarasiri PS the Chairman of the Homagama Pradeshiya Sabha, and a sprinkling of other provincial councilors and pradeshiya sabha members.

Caroline had helped a struggling Pirivena in Sooriyawewa in the Hambantota area for many years, arranging an annual pilgrimage from Godagama of a bus load to take gifts and books and dry rations to the young Samanaras (monks in training some as young as 10) of the pirivena. When they heard of her demise, the Chief Priest brought over 40 of the trainees in their saffron robes to the funeral in a bus. That was a memory one would not easily forget, as a token of their appreciation for her efforts over the past many years.

I would also like to mention one point to explain her dedication to her work, where after she had gone on a day trip with her family and grand children to Galle on 25^th February, a Poya Day, as the 25^th is usually the pay day, she told her son that she must get back in time to pay the wages, and so she had come by 3pm to the farm to pay the monthly wages to the staff, before I dropped her in my vehicle afterwards.

Coincidentally I was sent a facebook quote today, which I copied below to give an indication of the similarity of this lady to the mother in the quote, one can more visually understand the struggle one must have had to bring up a family, with no husband for support, to single handedly bring up three upstanding citizens who without doubt contribute tremendously in their own way to the growth of this country’s economy and the neighborhood we live in. They are all dedicated hardworking people who have instilled that in their own children and no doubt the grandchildren will also remember the tower of strength and unity that their grandmother had brought to their lives that they will all surely miss.

Thank You Caroline for a life well lived, and an example to us all.

The link is to a blog entry in 2007, where she organized a Kiri Amma Dana.

http://rajaratarala.blogspot.com/2007/11/kiri-amma-dana.html

Motivational and Inspirational Quote

One young man went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the initial interview, and now would meet the director for the final interview.

The director discovered from his CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent. He asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "no".

" Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"

"My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.” he replied.

" Where did your mother work?"

"My mother worked as clothes cleaner.”

The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

" Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"

"Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Besides, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go home today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back home, he asked his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother winced when he touched it.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fees. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his education, his school activities and his future.

After cleaning his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, when he asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered," I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'

“I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother, I would not be who I am today. By helping my mother, only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done on your own. And I have come to appreciate the importance and value of helping one’s family.

The director said, "This is what I am looking for in a manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life.”

“You are hired.”

This young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and worked as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

Richard Briers – January 14th 1934 – February 18th 2013 – AKA Tom Good

A blast from the past Richard Briers has just died from complications of lung disease. His endearing memory for me was in the Good Life which since its inception for a 3 year series 1975 to 1978 was a TV series I followed with many repeats subsequently and shaped my desire for farming and self sufficiency in later life. Actually it was only 30 Episodes over 4 series only though and must have been repeated over and over so many times, one loses count. I am sure the whole set can now be purchased on DVD and no doubt one day I will settle down to watch them when I am ready to reminisce!! It was a series I could watch many times over with the same enthusiasm and he played a major role in its success.

Penelope Keith who he always delighted in rubbing up the wrong way, reinforced my prejudices of what living in Suburbia and keeping up with the Jones were all about, something I never wished to emulate.

I therefore mention this and remember the personality as a significant affect in my life overseas and contributed to my entertainment after a hard day’s work! There is British Humor and more of it, but it was one I thoroughly enjoyed and thank the producers for bringing such a memorable series to TV, which I feel is lacking in today’s programs.

Being able to make fun of run of the mill lives and bring in color of life outside of the norm, has been part of my lifestyle and therefore I identify with this program more than many and Richard Briers was an unforgettable face of that process.

Of course being out of that scene for so long, I had forgotten him and the program, and when I saw more recent photos of him, I could not recognize the person I had seen in those programs so long ago. That is a fact of life for household names, where people remember them for the sitcoms that they acted in and not the fact that like everyone we grow old and change in appearance.

The whole series just revolved round 4 people, the other two being Tom Good’s on screen wife Barbara, Felicity Kendal who had her own endearing personality (having grown up and being schooled in India) and Paul Eddington more of the Yes Minister fame rounding out the 4.

Thank you Richard (TOM) for giving me so many evenings of laughter after weary days of work and hours of driving home from places in different countries as it was also syndicated in the US where I subsequently went to live in.

Upali Wijewardene – plane went missing 30 years ago today

Whilst there are many theories about what happened, the one I stick to is the one that due to some malfunction in the Lear Jet he was in the pressure on the cabin malfunctioned and all the occupants became unconscious until the plane ran out of fuel as it was flying on autopilot and crashed into the sea. That is because there were three subsequent instances when it happened to Lear Jets including the death of a famous Golfer in one such incident.

There is also another theory that it was shot down by Indonesian missile mistaking it to be unauthorized. However that too is compatible with my original theory, that if it was being flown on auto-pilot with all on board unconscious, then it is likely that it had strayed into classified airspace, and hence the shooting resulted.

I was in the UK at the time, working as a Chartered Accountant in London for an international accounting firm, and recall being very upset about it and relieved at the same time that my father who frequently accompanies him was not on that flight at that time. My father would then have been 55, the same age I am now.

More than would be the case for others, Upali Wijewardene had a direct influence on our lives, as my father was his financial advisor, and unlike many professionals today, never invoiced/billed/charged him for his time and work, nor requested a retainer. His accounting firm performed many of the Accounting and Secretarial services at the time for the various group companies and coincidentally was Auditor of Kandos before Upali bought it. I remember going to the Kandos factory in Kundasale when I was schooling in Trinity, and used to come away with chunks of Chocolate courtecy of the then MD. That is another story.

My father’s personality was and still is, of getting enormous pleasure from anyone’s success, where if he was able to contribute to that in some way, that was payment enough. No wonder his life has touched the whole gammet of businessmen in Sri Lanka, with Sir Chittampalam Gardiner being his first client, when he ventured out on his own around in the early 1950s and he has just retired at the end of January 2013 when he reached his 85th year having been an adviser to Ajita de Zoysa of AMW and Associated Electricals, but latterly of Union Bank fame. My mother being a more rational human being, who was left to put food on the table, influenced Upali direct pay for me and my brother’s boarding school education in England as much as a decade previously. I know my whole annual school fees, boarding fees and incidentals did not amount to more than 1000 pounds, per annum, it was still a lot of money at the time, and my parents did not have that kind of money and in the middle of the Sirima Bandaranayake regime where one required an exit permit to leave Sri Lanka, was a luxury few people could indulge in.

In those days whenever my father came to the UK with Upali, after their business dealings in the City of London, (they always stayed at the London Hilton) and attendance at races at Ascot or Newmarket they used to drive up to Cambridge where I was at school and we would go to an Indian restaurant for a meal. Upali went to Queens College, Cambridge and so we walked around the Backs and into Queens on the off occasion.

Sometimes on their way to Newmarket for the races, or to meet Upali’s horse trainer, Robert Armstrong, Susan Piggot’s brother, they would drop into Cambridge for a short visit to see us, as it was only a few miles away and on route.

Robert Armstrong trained Upali’s horses in the UK and Susan Piggot’s husband Lester sometimes rode his horses. It was fun knowing that we had a Sri Lankan who could indulge in these typically Upper Class British pursuits.

Stories are abound of both his audacity of thinking big and achieving the impossible, but he also believed he would not live to a ripe old age, and therefore was in a hurry to things others would contemplate for before beginning.

His contribution as the First Director General of the Greater Colombo Economic Commission will be remembered as the precursor to the BOI and beginning of foreign investment in Sri Lanka that helped with the beginning of the economic take off we have experienced in Sri Lanka since.

It would therefore be safe to say that, but for Upali Wijewardene, my life would have been very different. I cannot say if it would have been better or worse, but definitely not as varied and adventurous as it has been.

I knew the person more than many alive today, and he was a chain smoking effusive personality who always found every incident a matter for a good laugh!

Just for the record, I would like to mention the ties we have had to various generations of the Wijewardenes, where my Grandfather HAJ was both an Editor of the Ceylon Daily News, and the Observer for DR Wijewardene’s Lake House working directly under the big man, whilst my grand aunt, HAJs elder sister was married to the DR’s eldest brother. In turn in the next generation, my father Upatissa worked with Upali for very many years. In turn I am now with DR’s grandson Ruwan Wijewardene MP as a coordinating secretary.

None of these things in life are planned or predictable, and they happen by chance. However these chance encounters are for purposes which we cannot foresee and only time will tell after the fact on its consequence.

I am sure that Upali will be looking at us today and having a great laugh at the unpredictable outcomes of peoples and personalities he left behind, and hoping that one day a Wijewardene would again have a profound positive impact on the prosperity of Sri Lanka in the foreseeable future.

An appreciation – Asanka Mudalali 1953 – 2013

We go through our life and meet people, who become our friends and others who though never become personal friends, where one would invite them for a party, are nevertheless part and parcel of one’s life, sometimes more genuine than friends. This was the case of Asanka Mudalali, whose real name I only read on the banner when I arrived to pay my last respects. Today is his funeral at the Godagama Cemetery.

He would have been 60 in September, but on February 9^th he got into a smaller vehicle of his, went to the Moragahahena area near Horana, parked his vehicle and went into a nearby forest took some poison and killed himself. He must have wriggled in pain while the poison worked itself in the body, as was seen on the marks on his face touched up. His body was discovered a day later.

Over 25 years ago, he had a small Austin lorry and he transported the remains of a dismantled house on Dickman’s Road to my farm from which part of my and many homes in the area were built, by my father’s generosity of giving people doors and windows with frames, roof tiles and whatever that could be of use if people wanted. At that time he was the only man in town with a lorry in the area who we could rely on for such transport.

He was a self made man, who through sheer hard work built himself a thriving hardware business, and tippers and heavy machinery for transport of soil and building materials. He expanded his shop, purchased adjoining land and across on the High Level Road about half KM from the Panagoda Army Camp. He managed to marry his two daughters off, with the assets he was able to settle on them, and brought up a son, who turns out to be a wastrel, indulging in most of life’s indulgences, from alcohol, tobacco, gambling and seems to have wasted a small fortune along the way. We do not know the real reason he committed suicide, but I suspect most of it had to do with the son, and his wasteful ways, constantly having to pay up to retrieve vehicles and pawned goods from the bailiff. Interestingly he was not to be seen around at the funeral house, preferring to be inside in a room, unable to face the stream of visitors from far and wide, and when I went between 10pm and 12pm there were over 150 at the house at the back of the store.

He was always humble, and one could see him shoveling sand into his tippers a few days before his death, and whenever I passed his shop, and saw him at the counter from the road, never failed to stop and have a chat, and buy something I needed be it just a adapter plug or a tape measure. Recently, I was in the habit of assuring him that our nightmare political situation will see a transformation and a new dawn, and he always wished me well in my new endeavors. I always assured him right will eventually triumph over wrong and one just needed a little patience. I just think his patience had just run out.

I had anyway in the past purchased all my building materials from him when I built my shop and did various renovations and repairs around the house, and over the years could have topped a million or two. However he was always very reasonable with his prices, as compared with his nearby competitors, and he never failed to fetch an item he did not have in his shop from elsewhere asking me to come in a few hours to pick up. There was NEVER a question for me as to who I would go in the first instance if I needed any building materials or hardware store items. I am now in a quandary as I know there will not be the same pleasure in doing business there anymore.

So sitting at the funeral house, talking to people from the area, his generosity and assistance seem to be legendary. Many were those who related instances of him giving items at cost, and even though there was a board clearly saying not to ask for credit, did in fact give items on credit on a nod, not on a note book we had to sign off. His personality seems to have touched so many people, which I do believe even his family were probably unaware of. I think it is that streak in him, that was a genuinely nice personality that endeared him to so many and helped in get such a regular clientele.

Many were the instances he would say he did not carry the particular item, and asked us to go to the competitor close by, where we knew we would be gouged, but he had the stuff! Interestingly when I was there his competitor came to pay his respects, looking very upset, but I wonder if he realizes how much business Asanka sent him!

Then the local three wheel driver was telling me, how a few times, he sent him on his three wheel, to get some items for customers, because he had run out of them, and he had sold the items to the customer, at prices lower that what the three wheel driver had bought them for, not even taking into account the three wheel hire that had to be paid for going to purchase the item out of stock.

With these stories talked about by the locals, his death at such a young age, where he seemed quite hail and hearty full of energy and life, has come as a shock to the community. I think we are all in shock, and I took three of my staff that night to the funeral house, and how they had individual stories they had to relate, as they all knew this man personally. One of them did confirm that he had said how much trouble his son was to him, and how he has helped get him out of many financially damaging instances. The son’s friends are all friends when alcohol flows freely. They seemed strangely absent at the funeral house though.

His wife, like him is a simple and modest lady, and I trust she can cope with this loss, with the memory that he touched so many people, and hope it will inspire more to his genuine human qualities that are fast disappearing in today’s world.

May his soul finally Rest in Peace and may he travel in his journey towards the Ultimate bliss unhindered from worldly matters.

Wishing all my readers a new year 2013 where your individual goals, hopes and aspirations will come to fruition

As is traditional, we began our day in the office, (New Years Day is a normal work day in Sri Lanka - despite the infamous New Year's Eve Parties that this country is quite infamous for!) with the boiling of cows milk in an earthenware pot on a fire made of twigs. 

It is traditional that events such as a new year, a house warming and new beginnings begin with the boiling of milk.

The photo shows us lighting the fire and one shows the boiled over milk and the final one shows the staff of the office here in Borella.

I wish my readers that they also achieve their goals and aspirations set for the year, and it turns out to be a fulfilling one.

I know I have not been blogging in this blog as I used to, but have more than made up for blogging in my related blog of www.kalpanakaranna.blogspot.com which has included my opinions on subjects of the day, and have drawn a fair degree of debate and discussion, which I believe is for the best.

I will attempt to blog a little more of my life here in this blog, and make the time required so to do.

Nothing goes according to plan, especially if you have too many!

One has a structure to one’s life, and hopes, as time progresses. It is according to some plan. However, many unforeseen events take over and ruin some of the best laid plans. Often a serious accident calls for a rethink of a strategy and that was one I encountered, that completely changed my course of action.

I was happy growing, going to homes in villages buying what I considered unusual items such as wild oranges from trees and transporting them and finally selling them to my customers. It was fulfilling, rewarding but very tiring and extremely strenuous as much of the work was done by me personally.

The unexpected accident on January 30^th 2011 completely put paid to all that. My whole way of life completely changed. Not even having the only vehicle I possessed as it was condemned, and the insurance proceeds were not sufficient to even remotely consider a replacement, meant I had to quickly figure something else to do, to keep bread on the table. Independence disappeared!

I was fortunate in being asked to take on a new career in enabling a young politician with his work, and have now put all my energies in fulfilling his political ambitions, whilst at the same time taking some of the flack directed at him, and trying my best to perform under often trying circumstances.

This job is the art of the unexpected. Whilst agriculture was also the art of the unexpected weather, growing conditions, diseases, unpredictable harvest and price, this was of unexpected requests for assistance in unexpected quarters.

The job has turned into a social service project, aimed at not disappointing people who come for assistance, but who often ask for the impossible. It is all about juggling people’s expectations and when it is practically impossible to fulfill, ensuring that it is not your boss who the blame is directed at, as it is not his fault.

Just to quote one example, people believe it is only politicians who can fulfill the desires of those who wish to enter their kids into certain schools. There is very little one can do, as even when the relevant politician is approached, he signs a letter asking the local education officer to take note of the request. The education officer who handles it is the one making the decision, not the politician or minister of education, as the parents believe. So, all the best laid plans come asunder with this sort of expectation going unfulfilled.

It is therefore how one leads one’s life that is important, and in doing so reduce the obstacles in one’s way and grab hold of the crutches that help in achieving one’s objectives. It is always humans who are the biggest obstacles, and also humans who can theoretically contribute to one’s fulfillment.

Many would argue with that last statement, saying one must learn NOT to depend on anyone, and remove all desires from one’s mind. Well chum that is not me and that is not my philosophy. I know what I want, and I will try to get it without grabbing or forcing by making someone else uncomfortable.

In short I am still in search mode, I am still finding myself, and I am not still in that theoretical utopia of life. For those who don’t know me, I do not have kids, and neither am I married, so I am not carrying any weight with me and onerous conditions that I have to fulfill. This permits me to go for work, at 5am and get back home by 10pm and not feel I have deprived someone else of love and affection or duty. I can therefore comfortably commit the time, to the best extent of my physical constraints.

The lack of a companion to share one’s thoughts and the pluses and minuses of one’s day is a source of angst. I have yet come across any who would suit the bill even in a compromising way where one has to meet one’s desires halfway.

I put it down to the strange multi country outlook that is open, and critical, not hidden, and accepting anything goes. We can ask for what we want and we can give what we can, and we need to balance both of these with a suitable person who feels the same way. It is a need of equals. When one gives more than he receives not of the same, but on balance, the imbalance will not provide a long term solution, and instead lead to grief before long.

It is the latter attitude that deters the numerous possibilities put forward as a solution. Of course it goes without saying that the instant mutual attraction, a hoped for ideal has not happened and may never happen, so the compromise referred to above is the alternative and so a compromise balance that is needed.

A huge hike in the cost of living in an apartment in Colombo meant the biggest adjustment made in the year was to reduce one’s abodes by one, moving back to the relative calm of the farm, with the resulting cost and time of commuting daily from there, and contending with the traffic, meaning an early start is all one can do to avoid the stop start traffic nightmare; something I thought I was free of, and not to be repeated! On balance it was the right decision in the long term and adjustments will be made to make this the most practical solution.